2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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