i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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