We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
