some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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