Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
