He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
