Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize