so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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