Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
