I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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