think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
