How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
