Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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