Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
