after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
