Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
