by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
