There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
