I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
