Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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