I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
