Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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