I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
