Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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