So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
where am i from again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize