actually, I'm a sock model
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
