i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
