Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The Olympian is in my bed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
