We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
