Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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