i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize