When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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