The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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