You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
