the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
