I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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