Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So squirting runs in the family.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
