it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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