i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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