The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These tits shall not be calmed
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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