I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
