I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize