Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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