i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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