you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
