Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
