i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
