I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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