So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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