seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
