You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize