well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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