So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
