Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
