I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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