Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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