So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
