Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
