Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
