Got a toothbrush?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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