sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
