Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
