u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I would fuck him just for his dog
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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