I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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