everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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