your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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