I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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