Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
