i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize