so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
