Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
