Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
