I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ok first of all what the fuck
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
