That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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